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Saturday, May 8, 2010

I am Mommy

(private journal entry -- July 15, 2009, Wednesday, 5:30-ish am.)

Yesterday, I decided to rearrange my home office. This involved pushing, lugging, and tugging at a SUPER HEAVY metal desk and a metal folding table. I had to clear these off first and move boxes and papers out of the way.

I thought Baby Dhis would be OK if I just kept giving her things to entertain herself with: papers, boxes, toys. After some time, she became very irritated and frustrated. I introduced a new play thing, but she just kept screaming. I still had so much to do, so I kept doing.

She, somehow, ended up falling backwards. I happened to look soon after she did, and she seemed stunned. I went over to her, smiled, and playfully asked, "What are you doing?"

She looked like she didn't know how to react. I paused, took a deep breath, and picked my baby up. I needed a break, too.

I took her to her room and sat in a rocking chair with her and began singing. She looked at me with the most content of expressions and gave a little closed-mouth smile. My heart felt a fender-bender: she just wanted her mommy.

Oh, I felt terrible! I must have neglected her affection and touch for hours! I'm the main of her world, and she could not reach me to get love and acknowledgment, all the while shaping her little mind and life experience thus far.

I rocked and sang, and she snuggled into my arms receiving love and security. She relaxed and smiled, and I snuggled into her receiving love and acknowledgment as a vital force in her life.

I am Mommy.

(Or watch on larger screen here.)

Happy Mother's Day to all women
who have a mother heart!

1 comment:

Kristen said...

=o) I watched it.