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Saturday, April 24, 2010

That Ain't No Baby Stroller

Today, the husband said, "Get out there and mow the lawn, woman!"

Well, OK, it was my idea.

It's my due date, and the lawn looked pretty shaggy.

Still pregnant.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I Think I Just Shot Myself in the Hair Follicle

See that pregnancy countdown on the right side of the page? Yep. Still pregnant.

(tapping fingers on desk)

Sooooo... what's up?


Isn't it weird that we can go a week without shaving for our husbands, but we don't dare NOT shave for our gynecologists?

At my last prenatal exam, my OB declared me "just fine" (that's a medical term) and before leaving the room, he asked, "Any questions for me?"

"Yes, " I said. "What ratio of women who come in for exams shave their legs versus not?"

"Uh..." he stammered. He walked to the door and paused. "Um-- haven't thought about it."

He stood at the door with his hand on the handle for a longer pause, staring down, thinking. "I don't pay attention. I have had women say 'I didn't shave today' and I say 'I didn't notice.'"

He was about to open the door to leave and then he piped up with, "Here. Say this: We're too busy to notice. Tell them that."

OK, so maybe his statement was true BEFORE I asked my question, but don't you think that it will pop in his mind now every so often since I asked?


I gotta shave my legs before I see him next.

Monday, April 19, 2010

And in my heart I find a need

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands One who is my Savior

I take Him at his word and deed
Christ died to save me, this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For Him to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God He's always gonna be

Yes, living, dying; let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God He's always gonna be

[Posted song: "My Savior, My God" by Aaron Shust]

Sunday, April 18, 2010


My patience-o-meter is busted.

The husband was gone all morning.

This means all Sunday morning preparation was left on my tired, swollen, 10-month's-pregnant self.

My toddler decided running away from a slow-poke mom is hilarious.

My maternity clothes no longer fit, except for a long denim skirt and a winter sweater.

It's 70+ degrees outside.

I had low blood sugar and was shaky.

Got myself and the toddler fed.

Toddler had a messy diaper.

Got the toddler dressed in church clothes.

Was carefully making way down the stairs to get in the car.

Toddler had messy diaper #2.

I found that my belly no longer allows me access to strap toddler in her car seat.

Spent a million years buckling the kid in.

Got to church an hour late.

Missed the husband's talk in sacrament meeting.

I am slightly irked.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Are We Almost There Yet?


The heartburn! The heartburn!

Last pregnancy:

This pregnancy:

The swelling!

Last pregnancy:

This pregnancy:

The stretching!
Last pregnancy:

This pregnancy:

And the exhaustion!

Last pregnancy:

This pregnancy:

The husband assures me, "You're almost done."

Oh, heck yes. Yes, I am.

Thursday, April 8, 2010


(Originally written May 2004)

Elder Todd Christofferson of the Seventy shared this story at General Conference:

“Years ago, when I served as a stake president, a man came to confess a transgression. His confession surprised me. He had been an active member of the Church for years. I wondered how a person with his experience could have committed the sin that he did. After some pondering, it came to me that this brother had never become truly converted. Despite his Church activity, the gospel had not penetrated his heart. It was only an external influence in his life. When he was in wholesome environments, he kept the commandments, but in a different environment, other influences might control his actions. How can you become converted? How can you make the gospel of Jesus Christ not just an influence in your life but the controlling influence and, indeed, the very core of what you are?”

In essence, Elder Christofferson was asking, “How can I become born again?” and I was caught off guard. After listening to his talk, I turned to my husband and sadly asked him, “Am I going to make it into the Celestial Kingdom?”

He was quiet. Then, he patted my hand and said, “Yes, you will.”

I felt a little better then, not because I believed my husband would have the final say on Judgment Day, but because I realized I was experiencing the first two steps of repentance: realizing I was sinning by being a lazy Christian and feeling great sorrow for being so. I had a broken heart. My spirit was called to repentance. I felt it crucial for me to recommit, to be "born again."

I was recently invited by a sister in my ward to witness the birth of her baby boy. While I was first apprehensive about witnessing a process I had heard much about but never seen, I was greatly blessed for having been present. The experience gave me much to reflect about what it means to be born again.

What I learned about the physical birth process:
  • Birth is painful.
  • A baby sits in a Comfortable place: warm, some light, some sounds, floating, can’t move too much but can a little.
  • But then the baby feels Pressure to move or change location, uncomfortable, pressure. She must squeeze through an area MUCH smaller than her head alone!
  • The Process involves pain, constant pressure. The baby may not want to proceed and feels restricted as she cannot move her arms or head.
  • But eventually, the baby passes through: Delivery into open space and is free to move, to stretch, to learn to walk, to talk and has more freedom than she did in her previous state. There are bright lights and clear sounds.
  • She is Received into the arms of loving parents.

What I am learning about the spiritual rebirth process:
  • Spiritual rebirth is painful.
  • We are Comfortable for some time and then something presses us to change.
  • Pressure to move or change, an uncomfortable feeling.
  • We begin the painful, uncomfortable Process of repentance. The sorrow is heavy and weighs us down; our spirits become contrite; our hearts broken. Sometimes, it feels unbearable. We may not want to proceed with the pain. It feels like we cannot take it anymore and then…
  • DELIVERY! The joy of the atonement of Heaven. We can move, we can breathe. We have more freedom than we had in our previous state. We stretch, learn more, walk uprightly. We have greater light; the whisperings of the Holy Ghost are clearer.
  • And we are Received into the arms of loving Heavenly Parents.

The physical birthing process is not only painful and uncomfortable for the baby, it is also uncomfortable for the mother. She toils though because she knows it is only for a little while and her baby will then be free.

The re-birthing process is not only painful for us, it is also uncomfortable for our Father as he watches us, his beloved children, go through the anguish of sorrow and repentance. But he knows it is only for a little while, and then, we will be free.

Sis. Elaine Marshall, Dean of the BYU College of Nursing, said in the article "Lessons on Healing" (Ensign, April 2004):

"When I was a young nurse in the hospital, hardly a day went by that a patient did not ask, 'Will it hurt?' If I had been truthful, the whispered answer would nearly always have been, 'Yes, it will hurt.' I have learned that healing hurts. Life hurts. Healing really begins only when we face the hurt in its full force and then grow through it with all the strength of our soul. For every reward of learning and growing, some degree of pain is always the price."

Most of us accept that there is usually pain involved in repentance, but we often forget to keep our eye on the goal: the promised joy at the other end of the process. The prophet Alma reminds us to accept the joy of being born again. (Alma 36:12-23)

Walk through the fear!

Bring your broken heart, bring your contrite spirit, and offer them to the Lord with your tears. Yes, the sorrow will bring pressure and discomfort. It may seem as if the process will never end. It might feel as if you cannot take anymore. And then Christ’s Atonement will envelop you and heal you.

Embrace the joy!
You will have greater light, you will hear more clearly, you will have more freedom than you did before, and you will be stronger.

What Christ did long ago is still in force. His sacrifice keeps working for us. His joy keeps waiting for us. We can be born again. The gospel is good news! Jesus is truly and presently my Savior and your Savior. These are the latter days and the perfect time to increase our joy is today.

[Posted song: "The Answer" by Shane & Shane]

LOVE this song!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Here Comes Bunny Claus...


Now, go find your eggs.