They really shouldn't call it Facebook. Maybe Statusbook. Or FindYourFriendsButDon'tTalkToThemBook. Or TrackMyBejeweledScoreBook.
In my case, Fatbook: Where you can sit on your butt all day and pretend you've been connecting with people while your kids go neglected and scrounge the corners of rooms for nutritious crumbs.
I suspected I had been spending too much time online:
* When there was something sitting in front of the monitor blocking my view and I tried to move it with the cursor arrow.
* When I wanted to find a passage in a book I'm reading and my first thought was to hit Control+F.
* When clarifying what neighbor I was referring to in conversation, I included their maiden name. "I hear Jennifer Schrader Miller is pregnant."
* When my thoughts throughout the day were in "status" form.
Adhis is eating oatmeal.
Adhis feels so lonely she
could cry might crybawled her eyes out.
Adhis found $50 in her pants pocket. Must have been slipped in by a passer-by gone ga-ga while she was waddling down the grocery aisles.
Fatbook is too instant and fleeting. Make a witty comment on someone's status, and a day later, you have to wade through "Show Older Posts" in order to pull up the hilarity.
Online conversations in general can be problematic as a comment extended in calmness or sarcasm can instantly be misconstrued as an attack, depending on the reader's frame of mind. I was inadvertently offending people left and right. At least, on my blog, I can offend people just a couple times a week. (If you'd like it to be more often, shoot me an email, and I'll respond with just how fat your Mama is.)
I decided to take a hiatus from Fatbook for a while. A week? Two weeks? Who knows. I deactivated my account which erases all traces of me from everyone's FB account: photos I posted, notes I tagged, comments I made. I gave a few days' notice this time around since the first time I deactivated some people thought I had found fault with them and had blocked them. If you hadn't heard already, or if I happen to be one of the people whose FB activity you had hidden, just know I didn't block you.
Life without Fatbook has been great! Since then, I spent 12 hours willing away the urge to puke, almost starved and dehydrated myself, and had a nervous breakdown. But I hear it's typical of the first hour of deactivation. It should be smooth sailing from here on out. And that's a status you can "like."
[Posted song: "Where Everybody Knows Your Name"]