I'm going to jail.
Well, not really. Yet.
I got summoned for jury duty starting the workday before our 2-week Hawaii trip. It's been 6 years since our last vacation due to buying a house, fostering children, and going through pregnancies. Asides from my own plane ticket and luggage fees, the trip is free, so I am NOT missing this trip! I, seriously, will risk time in the clink for this. (Please, write me.)
Anyway, I call the court and am told that the case I'm sitting on "shouldn't take more than a day." They ask me for a good phone number to reach me, and I give them my cell. She asks if the other number is still good and reads it to me.
“I’ve never heard of that phone number in my life,” I say.
"Oh," laughs the court clerk. I give her my husband’s cell for backup.
We're about to end the call when she throws in this afterthought: "And we’ll see you this Monday at 9am."
“What? For what?” I ask.
“You have a pretrial on Monday."
"What? I never got a letter about that."
"Lemme check." She puts me on hold.
She returns to the line. "Yes, Monday at 9am."
"O…K… where at?" I confirm the address and ask if I’ll know where to go once there.
“Haven’t you been here before?" she asks.
"Haven’t you been arraigned??"
"What?? No. For what?"
"YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ARRAIGNED??" She panics. She’s checking through files explaining the arraignment's purpose. It’s Friday, and now we’re pushing on time with my pretrial being on Monday and everything.
Long story short, she thought I was the DEFENDANT.
I sigh a sigh of relief and we both laugh upon realizing the mix-up.
I ask her to please take my number and my husband's cell number (has a different meaning now that I type it) off the defendant's file, which she promptly does.
So, it looks like I won’t have to get a girlfriend in prison after all.