In trying to decide what to add to my closet, I realized I am in serious need of reconsidering the types of shoes I wear. All of my around-the-house shoes, with the exception of two, are heels. While this used to work out when it was just me and the dog, it has become quite the challenge to carry a babe in one arm, a basket of laundry in the other while trying to stay atop strappy sandals and kicking the dog out of the way. Also, my laundry room is at the top of the stairs on the second floor, and I don't want to die. ("She died so young! At least, she went out smelling like fresh linens hung out in a lavender field.")
I know it sounds unreasonable, but a change in footwear feels... scary... sorta... to me. As a result, I have been delaying clothes-shopping and alternating between heels and bare feet throughout the day. What the heck should I wear? What's feminine but not "cute"? I cannot keep procrastinating; if my clothes get any holier, they will be translated into the heavens. I am so open to suggestions! (As long as they are not these suggestions.)
This "change of life" has lead me to think about other ways my life has transformed since I pushed 6lbs and 9oz through my vagina:
- The $100 per month we never had for fun things suddenly appeared for baby non-fun things. (Maybe the baby brought her own wallet?)
- I often find I have to talk myself into getting dressed before noon.
- There have been several days in a row lately where I have not put on one iota of makeup! (You may have heard neighborhood children screaming when I went to check the mailbox.)
- I have found my hair in knots when I comb it before getting into bed at night, realizing it is the first time I've combed it all day.
- I've "simplified" by wearing two pairs of pants for the week and am too tired to care a flicker if the neighbors think "hasn't she been wearing those pants since last Tuesday?" (However, please host an intervention for me if I start wearing sweats or pj's out-of-doors.)
It's not all bad though. Parenthood makes some things sexier:
- Freshly de-crusted eyes is the new come-hither look.
- An accidental sinus twitch becomes a wink.
- Congestion produces a throaty voice.
- Emptying the dishwasher, a love note.
- Folding the laundry AND putting it away, Hot. Guy. Central.
We also have special code language:
- "The baby finally fell asleep." -----> "Take me, and take me quickly."
- "Babe, I'm gonna empty the baby's diaper pail." -----> "I love you."
- "I just brushed my teeth." -----> "So... can we make out?"
Yes, the stage for a romantic night is no longer set by cologne and candlelight but by the lingering mint-scent of longing. And, sure, the courtship dates that used to run into the wee hours of the morning have been replaced by outings that cannot go past the yawn-inducing 9pm. But I hold out hope that somehow we will regain a sexy new definition of our relationship despite the patter of tiny little feet.
But mostly, I want to be HOT again!
How do you bring sexy back now that you are a parent?