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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Bringing Sexy Back

It has been a year since I bought clothes to wear, and that was for maternity/post-maternity purposes. Before that, Clinton was president.

In trying to decide what to add to my closet, I realized I am in serious need of reconsidering the types of shoes I wear. All of my around-the-house shoes, with the exception of two, are heels. While this used to work out when it was just me and the dog, it has become quite the challenge to carry a babe in one arm, a basket of laundry in the other while trying to stay atop strappy sandals and kicking the dog out of the way. Also, my laundry room is at the top of the stairs on the second floor, and I don't want to die. ("She died so young! At least, she went out smelling like fresh linens hung out in a lavender field.")

I know it sounds unreasonable, but a change in footwear feels... scary... sorta... to me. As a result, I have been delaying clothes-shopping and alternating between heels and bare feet throughout the day. What the heck should I wear? What's feminine but not "cute"? I cannot keep procrastinating; if my clothes get any holier, they will be translated into the heavens. I am so open to suggestions! (As long as they are not these suggestions.)

This "change of life" has lead me to think about other ways my life has transformed since I pushed 6lbs and 9oz through my vagina:
  • The $100 per month we never had for fun things suddenly appeared for baby non-fun things. (Maybe the baby brought her own wallet?)
  • I often find I have to talk myself into getting dressed before noon.
  • There have been several days in a row lately where I have not put on one iota of makeup! (You may have heard neighborhood children screaming when I went to check the mailbox.)
  • I have found my hair in knots when I comb it before getting into bed at night, realizing it is the first time I've combed it all day.
  • I've "simplified" by wearing two pairs of pants for the week and am too tired to care a flicker if the neighbors think "hasn't she been wearing those pants since last Tuesday?" (However, please host an intervention for me if I start wearing sweats or pj's out-of-doors.)

It's not all bad though. Parenthood makes some things sexier:
  • Freshly de-crusted eyes is the new come-hither look.
  • An accidental sinus twitch becomes a wink.
  • Congestion produces a throaty voice.
  • Emptying the dishwasher, a love note.
  • Folding the laundry AND putting it away, Hot. Guy. Central.

We also have special code language:
  • "The baby finally fell asleep." -----> "Take me, and take me quickly."
  • "Babe, I'm gonna empty the baby's diaper pail." -----> "I love you."
  • "I just brushed my teeth." -----> "So... can we make out?"

Yes, the stage for a romantic night is no longer set by cologne and candlelight but by the lingering mint-scent of longing. And, sure, the courtship dates that used to run into the wee hours of the morning have been replaced by outings that cannot go past the yawn-inducing 9pm. But I hold out hope that somehow we will regain a sexy new definition of our relationship despite the patter of tiny little feet.

But mostly, I want to be HOT again!

How do you bring sexy back now that you are a parent?


Jackie (updated profile) said...

I am withholding comment until you comment on my blog. It's been a while..ya know?

Kristen said...

Okay, NOW you're a mom. =o)

I love the A.N.A. brand at JCPenney for those reasons. I'm not exactly the one you should ask about fashion, but I feel good about myself. A little trendy but still comfy.

But mostly, if you have a willing family member, a quick weekend trip anywhere without baby can do wonders for your relationship.

Kristen said...

But I think you already answered your own question. Shower, get dressed, put on makeup. Every morning. No excuses. NO excuses.

lance, miss, & my said...

lol, adhis.
I don't know that I have sexy back at all (or did I ever have it, period?).
but for shoes, I suggest cute flats.:)

sharibug said...

I am with Kristin. Get up early, shower, put on your makeup and do your hair, read your scriptures, and pick up what was not done before you went to bed before your little one wakes up. Then the day belongs to your sweet pitter patter feet, and just before hubby comes home, freshen up your makeup, brush your teeth and comb your hair, make sure your clothes are clean, start his dinner if you have not already, and when he comes in the door, no matter how awful your day has been or even if you are not pleased with him for some reason, smile lovingly at him kiss him and go put dinner on the table. Mean while you are doing that, ask him how his day was and listen carefully. Make time for him always. No matter what is going on. If he percieves he is not important then the wedge begins to build that wall, and one day you wake up and you have nothing between you. My mother told me once that your husband is your priority and then the children. Take care of your man and he will bend backwards trying to take care of you. It does not have to cost money, but be creative. Leave him notes in his briefcase or where ever he might find them later, expressing your love and admiration for him. Let him know he is the most, the best, the greatest in your life.

Adhis said...

Shari, I'm going to have to delete your comment before my husband sees it. (Just kidding! :D )

Jackie (updated profile) said...

Josh: You look so pretty today.

Me: Don't patronize me, I have no make up on, and I'm wearing dirty clothes.

Josh: So....the kids are in bed early.

Me: Make it fast, "Jon and Kate plus 8" is coming on.

Kat said...

He he he. I love Jackie's last comment. It is totally hilarious. :) Make sure you just feel pretty. As long as you feel good, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.