I found 4 expired square cans while I was taking inventory of my food storage. To be honest, I'm surprised they're in my house. I must have thought by the time the expiration date came about a catastrophe would have hit, and I would have traded these cans for a carton of cigarettes. (And then traded the carton for a car. Those nicotine addicts will do anything for smokes!)
Or is it Mmmm? Who can turn down Virginia Baked Ham Taste! (Note they didn't leave it at "ham.") With a name like Treet, you KNOW it's gonna be good!
I can't recall having eaten and enjoyed Spam. Yeah, I know the can says Treet, but really, who are we kidding? (Did you know I've been to the Spam Museum? There I learned that Spam got its name at a party when a guest abbreviated SPiced hAM. Get it?)
Anyway, I studied the can like a monkey discovering a can. It took some woman power and some meat juice splashing onto my neck, but I got the lid peeled off. ("Peel me open a can of meat, will ya?") (It just isn't right.)
I poked at the pinkish matter and tried to jiggle it out. I slid a knife around it and turned the can upside down. Out came a perfectly square chunk of meat. (Which part of the pig is the perfectly square part? I forgot.)
I'm a nutrition label reader, and, sometimes, I wish I was not. I was horrified to find that just eating 1/6 of this meat contained nearly the fifth of a day's worth of fat and cholesterol and 1/3 of the day's worth of salt. Unless I just wanted to suck on a flabby piece of pink, that's not counting any other ingredients I want to add to it.
I cut off approximately 1/6 of mechanically separated meat parts and then realized I had no idea what to do with this kind of food. What do I do with the other 5/6ths? What about the other 3 cans? (Side note: It was kind of disturbing how easily my butter knife went through the chunk. I've had a tougher time slicing through butter.)
I did the next logical and geometric thing. I sliced the slice of square into tiny baby squares. (Awww, cute!) Then, I threw them in a skillet and added onions and eggs.
It was ok.
What do I do with the rest of the "ham taste" product? I've already figured out I can use the juice as perfume, but I need recipes! Share your best, healthier (relatively-speaking) recipes for 90-degree-angled, compressed animal parts. I know you've got them!