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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Dirting


I dirted today.

Other people call it dusting, but "dusting" implies there's a light coat of feather-like debris involved.

Shortly, after waking today, I said, "It's been a while since I've dusted" and thought the task sounded novel as I pictured myself light-heartedly making things look shiny and new with the swipe of a magic wand. I grabbed two rags, moistened one, and headed for my bedroom windows.

HO.LY. CRAP.

I should have grabbed a chisel, a dustpan, and a priest. I found on my sills the ruins of ancient colonies, abandoned adobe homes, and the powdered remains of what were probably once pottery made by teeny tiny hands. My wet rag was, in one swipe, coated with mud. I grimaced and rinsed the cloth out in my bathroom sink.

As I returned to the window, I attributed the quarter-inch build-up to the neighboring construction work, but immediately after that thought, my mind flashed to the last time I remembered dusting, which was when I was still pregnant with my now-10-month-old daughter. So, really, I have no one to blame but my... ... husband.

I continued working on the window sill and found gaps where caulk was missing. Apparently, what had kept us from freezing to death this past winter was a compact bed of dirt. Huh- that explains those "mysterious" night allergies.

In the living room, I lightly shooed an upside-down fly off a sill with the dry rag and then shoved off its curled-up eight-legged companion. Neither of them stood a chance in the arid desert that is my windowsill. They were probably once friends, but as they crossed Little Sahara, they began to hunger and thirst and the spider apologized for having to go the way of his ancestors and eat his BFF for survival. My negligence in up-keeping my home triggered the break-down of The Fly-Spider Peace Treaty of 2007. (I cry for you, Fly and Spider.) I'd have to vacuum those suckers up off the carpet later. Eventually.

Finally, I ended up in the dining area where I came across a sacred insect burial ground. Insects of different races were piled up on top of each other, reminding us that we all return to dust (ahem) and need to put our differences aside. I swiped around them lest I stir up some ancient curse and rinsed my rags one last time before tossing them with the laundry. I'd have to get the vacuum attachment hose and "relocate" the bug remains. When I vacuum. Later. You know, when my daughter starts preschool.

12 comments:

Kristen said...

Just a hint: You can vacuum window sills and baseboards BEFORE you dust. Works miracles. And don't even think about a wet cloth until the dust is gone. Pass that on to your husband for me, kay?

Lyns said...

I agree. Nobody to blame but your husband.

kristen said...

Adhis, I bet you look just like that woman when you dust. I know I do. jk, i hate to dirt as well. Yuck!!!

kristen said...

Adhis, I bet you look just like that woman when you dust. I know I do. jk, i hate to dirt as well. Yuck!!!

chelon:) said...

i loathe that chore...that is why i leave it to my kids :) they may not be as good as me, but it is good enough!

i leave the mopping and the vacuuming to my husband.

that leaves me with....hmmm??

i guess that is why i chose to have so many kids...cheap labor. ;)

Heidi said...

Sounds like our bedroom. I dusted the blinds last week - it took an entire box of Clorox wipes to get them looking half-way decent. Jeramy even noticed that they weren't brown anymore. I felt pretty accomplished for the day.

Kat said...

Yeah, the problem with our houses, are that 5 minutes after you dust, it doesn't even look like you dusted. The wind, as much as I love the cool breeze, doesn't bode well with the dirt. LOL :) However, I LOVE the post.

islandgirl said...

I don't even look forward to cleaning out the windowsills in my new house. My sister, who kept an immaculate house, apparently never bothered with the windows...who would want to face that chore? That's when husbands come in....or vacuums and kids!

TDawgYo said...

You make dusting sound like a archeological adventure.

(Gra)Ma Adhis said...

You are an INSPIRATION
maybe I'll go dust.... later. :D

Jackie (updated profile) said...

I thought I was the only one with ancient civilizations in my window sills!!

Sunni said...

You're hilarious. I was almost inspired to do some dirting myself.