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Thursday, March 19, 2009

How to Kill a Cake

I was asked by the Relief Society to make one of the 10 cakes for their princess-themed birthday celebration last night. Here is what I learned.

How to kill a cake:
Wait last minute to make it.
Wait last LAST minute to make the frosting.
At the last last LAST minute, decide to add a fruit filling.
Don’t wait for anything to cool.
Watch the fruit filling bleed out.

Scream and put cake in the fridge in hopes of the frosting magically insta-setting.
Open the fridge door and look at bleeding cake in wide-eyed disbelief.
Add frosting over ooze in attempt to patch it up.
Put back in fridge and check on it every other minute.
Watch the cake bleed through the plaster.
Plan on telling people at the event that this is the rage in bakeries all over France.

Cake CPR:
Wish for duct tape.
Allow brain to engage in super-charged duct-tape dreaming.
Look through Christmas wrap stash and find ribbon to duct-tape the cake.
Wrap ribbon around cake.
Ignore the non-edible toxic glitter coming off the ribbon.
Add frosting stripes on top of cake to distract from the band-aid.
Convince self that what cake needs is pink as a distraction.
Freak out when adding too much red food coloring and making dark frosting.
Scramble for the last of the white frosting to hopefully tame the red into a light pink.
Ask spouse 3 to 5 times if the cake looks alright.
Jam tiara on cake.


But here are some other lovely creations from last night.
(Becky demonstrates her non-bleeding cake. Beautiful, eh?)

(Some other non-bleeding cakes.)

For the activity, we were asked to each bring an item that described us well.
Sarah drew a picture of a horse reading a book because she likes drawing, horses, and reading. She added, "you can't tell, but the horse is eating chocolate."

The deconstruction of cakes.

And who could turn down a tasty piece of this action?
Feel free to make your own cracks. (BWAHAHAHA!)

The end.


chelon:) said...

beautiful cakes! way to save yours. love the barbie butt...was that jana's? she made one of those for sass's bday. super cute!

sarahandtim said...

bahaha! that's a great pic of barbie's behind. your cake story cracked me up. love the bandaid. did it get eaten?

Heidi said...

glad to know I wasn't the only one who had "cake drama" it's almost like the Lord didn't want us to have princess cakes. Did you see my daughter licking the barbie's...upper parts as we left? Nothing weirder than that!

Sarah said...

I'm a little disappointed butt-crack Barbie isn't your new banner. I'm sure your dog wouldn't mind.

Adhis said...

Oh, Sarah... you don't know how long I contemplated it. But a tiny inkling said "no" and I've got to go with the inkling.

Kristen said...

EXCUSE ME - Princess cake? What ever happened to you being "anti establishment like that" when it comes to princesses? Yes I memorize everything you say. Baby Dhis was too good for princesses, and now you're suddenly making princess cakes?!?! Hmmm. I think you tried to botch it on purpose.

Partway through your narrative, I thought you were going to just sprinkle the whole thing with glitter - that would have been easier, and just as edible. =o)

Adhis said...

Oh, still very much so anti-establincess... notice the entry started with "I was ASKED by the Relief Society" and not with "So they asked for ideas at church in regards to the Relief Society celebration and I raised my hand and squealed, 'oooh! You know what we should do? A princess party!'"

Who knows what the future holds for my little girl's mom though...

Jackie (updated profile) said...

I thought your cake looked great! Our cake was psycho, I'm still uncomfortable looking at the Barbie cake.

Chantille and Jaren said...

hahahahaha! You make me laugh!!