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Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Color of Death

This morning, I almost died.

I was sitting at the computer sipping on my morning drink when my face started feeling warm, and then SWOOSH, it suddenly got hot. It was burning. BURNING! I rushed to the bathroom mirror and found my face was red and splotchy, and it felt like it was on fire! Of course, I remained rational and thought, "I'm dying."

To say I FUH-REAKED would be an understatement.

I called David on his cell phone and told him of my impending death. He said, "You're fine. Take a Benadryl and relax."

So, I took photos instead while he was on the phone in denial about my terminal state.


I hung up with my non-sympathizer and called my dad. No answer. I called my mom. She answered. (Looking back, I should re-evaluate the order of my I-Am-Dying phone tree. Maybe throw "911" somewhere closer to the top.)

So, my mom used to be a nurse a long, long time ago before they invented nurses. She was the first one. Her nurse cap was a fig leaf and her stethoscope was a tin can on a shoelace. Regardless of long-ago-ness, she remembered stuff.

I described to her my pre-death symptoms and she calmly said, "Oh, it's a niacin rush. You're fine. It will go away in 30 minutes or so." I googled while she spoke. (BTW, niacin is vitamin B3.)(Google found this.)(And this.)

My sister heard about my dying from my mom and called me to reassure me it was indeed a niacin rush and that she, too, was scared the first time she experienced one.

Then, as the compassionate Aubrey guessed upon my retelling of my experience: my cousin's best friend's dog's owner's mom called to tell me to stop freaking out because EVERYONE knew it was the niacin.

Well, *I* didn't know.

I went down to the kitchen and looked on the labels of the only things I had ingested thus far and found that the antioxidant supplement I had taken included 100% Daily Value of niacin. The thermogenic supplement I had taken had 60% of the DV of niacin. The drink I used to swallow them had 40% of the DV of niacin. In a couple gulps, I had taken 200% of the DV in one sitting. Hello, heatwave!

About a half hour later, my face still felt a little tingly and looked slightly pinkish, but I actually looked better than I have in a long time! My skin was plumper and my face looked younger. I'd like to say I'm vain enough to incorporate niacin sandwiches into my lunches, but, alas, I'm a wuss.

An hour later, my dad called and said, "Hey, I saw you called, and I missed it. What's up?"

I nonchalantly said, "Oh, I was dying."

He laughed and said, "I heard. Mom told me." He then reinforced the new lesson I had learned about niacin and went on to say he was jealous. JEALOUS. (I have weird parents, but that's another story that may never get blogged.) He was jealous that I had had a niacin rush. Apparently, he used to initiate them a lot in the past and that they are helpful before workouts, but that he didn't get them very often anymore. (Upon further research, I found that niacin flushes are indeed beneficial.)

Hm...

...

thinking... thinking...

...

I DON'T CARE IF THEY HELP ME SPROUT WINGS AND MAKE ME PEE 14K GOLD URINE; I'M NOT REPEATING THAT EXPERIENCE! NO, THANK YOU!

So, yeah, in short, I had a near-death experience this morning. I now have a new appreciation for life. Colors look more vivid. Air smells more airy. Water is waterier.

Folks, hug your children a little tighter tonight.

[Posted song: "Help" by The Beatles]

13 comments:

Sarah said...

I would have freaked out too. Glad you didn't die!

Englishfam said...

I have NEVER heard of that, weird. I guess you aren't the only one! I would have completely flipped out too. I was laughing so hard at your dad's response because my dad would have said the exact same thing. Love it.

Englishfam said...

...he wouldn't have said the part about trying to get niacin rushes, just the other part! :)

Heidi said...

So glad you survived! I have never heard of that before, either. Dave's response is totally what Jeramy would do. "Relax, you're not dying." Glad you didn't die.

Katy said...

Wow! I had never heard of this. I would have probably called 911 - LOL. SCARY!

Lyns said...

I'm glad you didn't die. You sound like my sister. Every few days I get a call from her about her impending death. :) BTW - I WOULD answer my phone but it never rang. Are you calling my cell phone or home phone? Here's why I ask. We no longer have a home phone. :) If it's about VT - I did it. :) Are you still my Sup?

Kat said...

I didn't know about that either. I would of been freaking out too. I am so glad that you are doing better!

islandgirl said...

Whew! Yeah, I agree, the rush doesn't seem to be worth the PAIN! OUCH!

Kristen said...

I was going to tell you that you shouldn't scrub your face with those magic eraser things - because it seems like such a logical thing to do.

I about died myself, a minute ago when the Beetles came blasting out of my speakers. Apparently Ben used the computer last night. It's a good thing I like the Beetles (and that the kids didn't wake up). My heart rate is almost back to normal.

Jackie (updated profile) said...

Oh my gosh! I never heard of such a thing! You carry the "niacin rush" look well though.

Christi said...

Better luck next time :)

chelon:) said...

i have never heard of that before. i now know...do not overdose on niacin! hope you are looking better ;)

Nathalie Smith said...

HA,HA!!! You look as funny as I did! First time is always the scariest, if it ever happens again you will probably say "oh no, not again!"
I am surprised that most people haven't heard of it, but then again most people don't even consume the daily niacin. Well, atleast you just educated people.