This morning, I almost died.
I was sitting at the computer sipping on my morning drink when my face started feeling warm, and then SWOOSH, it suddenly got hot. It was burning. BURNING! I rushed to the bathroom mirror and found my face was red and splotchy, and it felt like it was on fire! Of course, I remained rational and thought, "I'm dying."
To say I FUH-REAKED would be an understatement.
I called David on his cell phone and told him of my impending death. He said, "You're fine. Take a Benadryl and relax."
So, I took photos instead while he was on the phone in denial about my terminal state.
I hung up with my non-sympathizer and called my dad. No answer. I called my mom. She answered. (Looking back, I should re-evaluate the order of my I-Am-Dying phone tree. Maybe throw "911" somewhere closer to the top.)
So, my mom used to be a nurse a long, long time ago before they invented nurses. She was the first one. Her nurse cap was a fig leaf and her stethoscope was a tin can on a shoelace. Regardless of long-ago-ness, she remembered stuff.
I described to her my pre-death symptoms and she calmly said, "Oh, it's a niacin rush. You're fine. It will go away in 30 minutes or so." I googled while she spoke. (BTW, niacin is vitamin B3.)(Google found this.)(And this.)
My sister heard about my dying from my mom and called me to reassure me it was indeed a niacin rush and that she, too, was scared the first time she experienced one.
Then, as the compassionate Aubrey guessed upon my retelling of my experience: my cousin's best friend's dog's owner's mom called to tell me to stop freaking out because EVERYONE knew it was the niacin.
Well, *I* didn't know.
I went down to the kitchen and looked on the labels of the only things I had ingested thus far and found that the antioxidant supplement I had taken included 100% Daily Value of niacin. The thermogenic supplement I had taken had 60% of the DV of niacin. The drink I used to swallow them had 40% of the DV of niacin. In a couple gulps, I had taken 200% of the DV in one sitting. Hello, heatwave!
About a half hour later, my face still felt a little tingly and looked slightly pinkish, but I actually looked better than I have in a long time! My skin was plumper and my face looked younger. I'd like to say I'm vain enough to incorporate niacin sandwiches into my lunches, but, alas, I'm a wuss.
An hour later, my dad called and said, "Hey, I saw you called, and I missed it. What's up?"
I nonchalantly said, "Oh, I was dying."
He laughed and said, "I heard. Mom told me." He then reinforced the new lesson I had learned about niacin and went on to say he was jealous. JEALOUS. (I have weird parents, but that's another story that may never get blogged.) He was jealous that I had had a niacin rush. Apparently, he used to initiate them a lot in the past and that they are helpful before workouts, but that he didn't get them very often anymore. (Upon further research, I found that niacin flushes are indeed beneficial.)
I DON'T CARE IF THEY HELP ME SPROUT WINGS AND MAKE ME PEE 14K GOLD URINE; I'M NOT REPEATING THAT EXPERIENCE! NO, THANK YOU!
So, yeah, in short, I had a near-death experience this morning. I now have a new appreciation for life. Colors look more vivid. Air smells more airy. Water is waterier.
Folks, hug your children a little tighter tonight.
[Posted song: "Help" by The Beatles]