Custom Search

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Blessings and a Giveaway

As Latter-day Saints, we live in a culture where a sense of preparedness constantly lingers in the background. I suppose it begins in the history of the restoration of the Church. Our spiritual ancestors had to pick up and move so many times and endure the harshest of political and environmental climates for the chance to practice their spiritual beliefs and to avoid being murdered.

While our lives are generally more stable today, the topic of emergency preparedness is still a popular characteristic of our faith: extra food in our pantries, kits for emergency evacuations, frugal shopping and home canning, camping and survival skills, independence and self-sufficiency. The ward I currently live in often addresses the issue of being prepared for economic and natural disasters. Today, we had a ward activity to give us ideas on how to plug the holes in our family emergency plans.

Ed and Kari worked out a sheet for home storage budgeting. It helps figure out how much of what ingredients we need to store 3 months' or 6 months' or 12 months' of our favorite meals.
Dallin brought Donna's homemade granola and this hot oven made from a cardboard box!
The bottom pan holds briquettes. The top pan holds whatever food you are baking. There is a lid to close off the entire thing and ventilation holes on the sides. Each briquette puts out 50°F of heat (so, to bake at 350°F, use 7 briquettes). Neat!
A spectator mentioned one could probably even attach a thermometer inside the contraption as well. I'm thinking of hosting a project night where those interested in creating one of these each bring the supplies necessary and Dallin helps us make them. I like that in case of no electricity, I can still bake with somewhat accurate precision. How hard can it be to store a year's supply of briquettes?

Here's where my 72-hour kit vomited onto the table. I could have done a cleaner-looking display, but that's what you get when I'm at the end of having had no husband for 3 of the last 4 weeks. (The wooden turkey is not part of my kit.)

Beau showed off a slide show of his amazing year's supply of food. And he has 5 (or 20) kids! AMAZING!

Rich shared some helpful information and products for various water purification and storage methods. I found a product at his table I want to add to my kit. I'll just wait for him to look the other way.

Man, I'm SO in the right neighborhood for riding out an economic depression!

This morning, our neighborhood also participated in the emergency food drive to stock county food banks. They have been depleted by the increase of people needing assistance during this downturn. I was walking through my house last night with the list of needed items and feeling, at first, a little apprehensive about giving away our fortune. But as I saw how much we have, I heard the song "Because I Have Been Given Much" in my head.

Because I have been given much, I too must give.
2 packs of toilet paper, a box of oatmeal packets

Because of Thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live.
canned chicken and cans of tuna

I shall divide my gifts from Thee
bag of pasta, cans of evaporated and condensed milk

with every brother that I see
tomato sauce, cream of mushroom soup

who has the need of help from me.
a million hotel soaps/shampoos, and conditioners

Because I have been sheltered, fed by Thy good care
I cannot see another's lack and I not share.
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,
My roof's safe shelter overhead
That he, too, may be comforted.

By the time I opened my front door to set the items out on the porch for collection, I was overcome. How blessed I am! How ungrateful I have been!

I am surrounded by material and spiritual blessings all day, every single day! But I rarely take the time to acknowledge them, much less appreciate them. I was told by a patriarch when I was about 16 years old that I would always have what I need and always have a surplus to share. What an awesome blessing! One of my challenges is to wrap my head around that blessing and let go completely of a scarcity anxiety.

In the spirit of emergency preparedness, I'm doing a giveaway. This one is for your 72-hour emergency kits. I have here (try not to faint) not one, not two, but THREE hotel shampoo/conditioner/facesoap/bathbar/bodylotion/comb sets. These are perfect for 72-hour kits. One set for you, one for a spouse, one for a child. Or three for you. Or two for you, one for your spouse. Or one for you, one for each of two siblings. Or one for three kids' kits. Or... you get the idea.

These have been imported from various parts of the country. I don't remember which parts, but be assured they're from Seattle, Anchorage, Atlanta, Philadelphia, San Diego, Omaha, New York or one of a dozen other U.S. cities. One of the bars of soap has the word "French" printed right on the label! (Fancy? Oui!)

All you have to do to be eligible for the drawing is tell me a joke in the comments section. It doesn't have to be an original joke. Dave and I will read them and select the winner by who makes us laugh hardest. If there's a tie, we'll draw names from a hat. The winner gets ALL THREE hair and body sets for your emergency kit!

The deadline is Tuesday, November 18, 2008, 5pm Mountain Time. I will announce the winner the following day (Wednesday, November 19, 2008).

OK, get to it!


Aubrey said...

This is MY absolute favorite joke - makes me PEE (almost) everytime:
Q: What did the snail say when he rode on the turtle's back?

A: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Englishfam said...

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam
What did the wall say to the fish? Dumb bass.

How were those?? :) And there are more where that came from!

Heidi said...

I'm in.
What's the hairest side of a cow?

The outside.
(my personal favorite).

I can't wait to get my 3 month supply of soap!

Lyns said...

So, a blonde (or a brunette, or a redhead, whichever fits), comes running over to her neighbor jumping up and down excitedly and tells him she's pregnant! The neighbor knew they had been trying and gave her a big congratulations! She said, "That's not the best part. It's TWINS!" He got a little confused, knowing she had just taken the test, so he asked her how she knew. "Well," she said, "They have these TWIN pack pregnancy tests at the store and they BOTH came out positive!" :)

Seriously - aren't you rolling from laughter? :)

Lyns said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristen said...

You gave away your beloved, overpriced tuna?!?!?! I hope whomever eats it doesn't mind that there are .2 ounces less than there would have been six months ago. =o)

That wasn't my joke - I'm not in joke mode. I hope this doesn't disqualify me. I'll be back!

Joyful Mother of Children said...

Dave and Joe are hunting when Joe keels over. Frantic, Dave dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Dave comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"

Sunni said...

Ok, it's long, but I love it:

Bill is walking in the woods and finds a deep deep hole. In fact, he can't even see the bottom of the hole. He decides to throw a rock in to see how deep it really is.

He throws the rock in, and doesn't hear it hit the bottom, so he pushes a huge boulder in the hole, waits, and still doesn't hear it hit.

Next, he finds a huge log, pushes with all his might, and finally pushes it into the hole. He waits, waiting to hear it land, when all of a sudden out of nowhere a goat comes tearing out of the trees, running SO FAST, and jumps in the hole too.

Bill is standing there confused when Joe walks up.

Joe: "Hey, have you seen my goat?"

Bill: " Ya, a goat just ran and jumped in to that hole a second ago"

Joe: "Oh, that couldn't have been mine, my goat was tied to a log."

Hahahaha poor goat.

Mistress Meeyee said...

Try not to think of a white polar bear for 30 seconds.Start now!

Adhis said...

Kristen-- I did not donate the small cans of tuna. I went to my food storage and got the older, bigger (relatively speaking) cans. Because that's just how awesome I am.

Ben N said...

This joke is a 2 part joke...

1. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead!

2. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was stapled to the first monkey!

Nathalie Smith said...

No Joke from me,I 've got to many odd and end shampoos, but tell me if you end up doing the homemade ovens I would love to be there.

Kristen said...

Mine's long too...

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"

''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''

''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.''

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.

''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"

John Wesley said...

Sounds like you are indeed blessed. It's nice of you to do the giveaway, and it appears you've had good response.

I don't really have a joke, just some truly silly pondrings. Yesterday morning I opened a box of Raisin Bran that said "Extra Raisin" on the front in big letters. How does anybody know if there's really an extra raisin in there? Do they put 51 in the box instead of 50? What happens to the guy operating the extra raisin machine if he forgets to push the button to drop in that extra raisin? Can you imagine the poor guy geting fired, losing home and car, and becoming a disgrace to his community and family--all because he forgot to push a button to put an extra raisin in the box of cereal?

Hey, is it any more trivial than the stuff foisted upon us every day by the world around us?