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Saturday, October 4, 2008

Phantom Viewing

Phantom pain. That's the phenomenon where a person who has had a body part amputated, such as an arm, still feels sensation where the missing limb used to be.

You will recall that back in May, I amputated our 60" big screen television at a weak moment in my husband's electronic judgment. That was 6 months ago, and I'm still experiencing phantom pain. It turns out that I was the most attached to the TV after all.

The evidence:
Exhibit A
My friend Summer mentioned that she would be on a local television show showcasing her boutique business. I made a mental note to watch her. The night prior to the show airing, I remembered I have no television.
Exhibit B
Last Saturday was the LDS Women's Conference. My neighbor Tracie mentioned that this year it would be telecast and we could watch it at home. I decided to do that. Saturday afternoon, I realized we have no television.
Exhibit C
This weekend, I was looking forward to watching Conference, Saturday and Sunday. Then, I remembered, we have no television.
We don't have time for Exhibits D through Y.

You'd think I'd remember that we no longer have a 5-foot-wide black and silver monstrosity taking up half the main wall of the living room I walk into EVERY DAY. Nope.

You'd think the fact that I sit on a love seat that is where the TV used to be would be a reminder that we have no television. Double Nope.

You'd think that because, while I sit on the aforementioned love seat, I kick my feet up onto the coffee table the television used to sit on, I'd remember we have no television. Nope Nope Nope.

Everybody sing wit' me! There's my feet on the table that's in front of the loveseat that fits in the space where the television used to sit in the hole at the bottom of the sea! There's a hole, there's a hole. There's a hole in the bottom of the sea!

Back to Conference. (How easily you guys get distracted.)

I really wanted to watch Conference as a family instead of waiting for the talks to appear online or in the Ensign magazine.

Here was the problem:
Conference weekend + new baby + no TV=
pouty me

David is a man, so he likes to solve problems. And since he is David, he likes to solve them in some cool gadgety fashion. My Tech Hero Stud Guy brought home a projector from work and connected it to his laptop. See? ---->

He projected the live internet stream of Conference on the wall where the TV used to be. My OCD side was a little irritated that he didn't center the image between the two bookcases, but the wiser side of me said it was good to let things be. But the OCD side still had to blog about it.

Kinda cool, eh? I kept entertaining the idea throughout Conference that buying our own projector and attaching it to the ceiling might be a neat alternative for us. (Shhh... don't tell Dave.)

Even Indy the Dog was impressed. Here, he is intently listening to a talk. He seriously was just sitting there watching the speakers.

When I was trying to get a good photo of him doing that, he got really annoyed, turned his head toward me, and said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to listen to this." Then, he turned his attention back to the Conference.

(All dogs already go to Heaven; Indy is just trying to get to the upper tier of the Celestial Kingdom.)

Baby Dhis was sitting next to me on the couch where she watched Conference for a while. Partway through the morning session, she found the salt of the earth. (She did this for a long time. She kept doing it even while watching this video play back.)


Anyway, gotta go, I hear there's a great television movie airing tonight.

Oh. Right...

[Posted song: "The Church of Jesus Christ" by Magstatic from The Singles Ward]


chelon:) said...

too funny!! especially the video of dhis licking your arm! good thing you forgot to shower ;) i am sure that it was extra tasty!

glad you were able to enjoy conference...was that today??? :) JK

Kimmers said...

Oh my gosh Adhis you are so funny. Dhis licking your arm is hilarious. I am glad you have an amazing husband!! Way to go Dave. Love ya!

Nathalie Smith said...

cool, all I have to do if I don't want Hunter to watch tv is just unplug it, he would never figure it out. He is not so gadget fancy.
Kids are so great they do the funniest things! Dhis is adorable!

Utah_Dave said...

Actually Adhis,

Instead of on the ceiling, I was thinking I could hook up a projector in a drawer in the coffee table. So when we want to watch tv we just pull out the drawer and the projector pops up and is aimed DIRECTLY BETWEEN the book shelves for your viewing pleasure.

That way you don't see the projector all the time.

Love you, too, baby!

The Fralicks said...

Mariah said your blog was real clever! It IS!
I'm Glad your huby is not a techno tard like mine! (he would not be offended by that)

Kelly(M&M) said...

Hey Stranger,

I should be in bed, but I have been trying to catch up on your blog. Somehow I didn't put you on my blogroll, and that is what I use to check blogs. Meanwhile I didn't even know you had had your baby. I guess I thought your labor was more like a year. :-) So, congrats! Baby Adhis is adorable! I love the video from this post.

This post was hilarious! I was laughing all the way through. Kudos to Dave for figuring out a cool solution. I am excited to keep up to date with your life now. Sorry I am a dork!

Jenn said...

Way to go Dave! I love the video. Was it Utchdorf speaking in the background? Yeah I think it was. I think Dhis was just feeling the spirit of his message and was HOPING to get a little more then salt from licking you arm:)

Englishfam said...

Are you sure there is no chocolate slathered on your arm? Baby Dhis is enjoying that WAY too much! :)

Kristen said...

I noticed it wasn't centered, hmmm. OCD no way.

You know they make TV projectors for home right? You don't have to keep smuggling one home from work.

Kikibug said...

LOVE that the dog was listening to conference.
But LOVE even MORE that baby Dhis was licking your arm, it was so cute. The noise was even better. SO CUTE!