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Monday, September 22, 2008

Texas Roadhouse


I've heard and read many many MANY of my friends, neighbors, and fellow bloggers mention this restaurant and how much they LOOOOOOOVE it, so when my in-laws invited David and I to eat there, I was looking forward to trying it out.

I don't get it.

First: The motto printed on the menu is "If it doesn't say Texas, it's not Texas Roadhouse." Well, yeah, you're right; it would just be "Roadhouse." Thanks... for... that.

Second, Third, and Fourth: The food was horribly bland, the atmosphere "meh", and the salad soupy. I was there with at least 7 other people, and I noticed their faces did not express a delicious experience. No one really seemed all that pleased with their food. My sister-in-law from Texas was disappointed that this place had her state's name on it. This was a throw-your-peanut-shells-on-the-floor place and sitting there made me want to locate the restaurant's broom and dustpan. Are they serious?

I am not a food snob; I just like my food to have flavor and texture. Nevertheless, I can tolerate sitting through a bad meal, but the whole time I was thinking, "what does _(insert your name if you raved about this place on your blog or in my presence) see in this place?" Am I missing something?

And Fifth: I'm a people watcher, and I couldn't help but notice the majority of the clientele this particular night had an old-school Johnny Cash air about them. A few others seemed to be enjoying a meal before making their guest appearances on Jerry Springer. Large guts thinly covered by white t-shirts, leathery skin paired with ratty jean shorts, 80's beauty pageant bangs, heavy eyeliner. I've never seen these people in Utah! Where'd they come from this night? I made a mental Quick Exit Plan in case a brawl broke out between a woman "done wrong," her on-again-off-again beau, and a broken beer bottle.

So, I don't get it. What do you guys see in it?

For those of you who haven't been there, look for the place that doesn't say "Texas" on it. If it doesn't say "Texas" on it, then it ain't Texas Roadhouse, and maybe the food will taste good.

11 comments:

Kikibug said...

hahaha, I love your review. I think I have read some of your other reviews in the Times. You are GOOD. I have never eaten there, and I AM a food snob. So thanks for the warning. Seriously, you CRACK ME UP!!! "I've never seen these people in Utah! Where'd they come from this night? I made a mental Quick Exit Plan in case a brawl broke out".. still laughing...

Katy said...

WHAT did you order??? And WHICH location were you at? I wonder if this makes the difference....

Not saying this is my favorite restaurant of all time, but I DO like TR. I've eaten there a handful of times, and I honestly have been pretty happy with it. Of course, my order is pretty straight-forward - I always get the sirloin, a loaded baked potato, and a house salad. I ordered it the first time and liked it, so I haven't ventured out from there.

I hate having those crappy restaurant experiences where you feel like you just wasted every penny spent. :-( But if, by sharing this haunting tale, you spare even one soul from having to endure a similar fate, you must know your sacrifice was worth it.

chelon:) said...

so funny!! we just went there tonight and had a great experience! i have been there several times and have enjoyed them all. so you must have gone on a rotten night!!

try again :)

Parker said...

Oh, I get it. You are not a "food" snob but you ARE a snob in general. Sorry for the fact that other people there don't have your income level or white collar job or a last name that appears on the roster of the Mayflower. Didn't know that people should check in with you before they enter your precious state. Too bad you didn't get a bottle cracked over your head and some sense knocked into you. The food here is delicious and tasty and flavorful. And the atmosphere? Well, you really do have a problem if you don't enjoy it.

Adhis said...

Welcome, Parker! SO glad you enjoyed my blog post enough to comment. :)

I sense you are a little offended. Don't you worry, the sun will come out. I'll clue you in a little on me because I'm sure we have not met.

I'm a great fan of sarcasm and exaggeration. I am NOT a fan of discrimination as I grew up WAY BELOW the poverty line in a roach-infested apartment after immigrating to the U.S. (My ancestors couldn't make it here on the Mayflower as it didn't make a stop to South America. Thank goodness for airlines!)

Last I checked, low income people didn't immediately qualify for the Jerry Springer show, so I'm not sure why you would lump them all together. I'm also not sure why such violence should be wished upon someone with a set of tastebuds different from yours. They're tasteBUDS, not tasteENEMIES. :)

Anyhoo, welcome to my blog! Stop by anytime! Just play nice.

Sarah said...

Yikes Parker! Bitter much? And Adhis, I don't know why you didn't enjoy people watching at TR -it sounds like that's the best place to go! Your description reminds me of going to Dennys at 1 am in college. That's when you got to see all the crazies that you miss during daylight hours. You never know what to expect with those people -though it probably was a good idea to plan an exit strategy...

Kat said...

Yikes, Parker must have had a bad day. LOL :) Good times, good times. Good comment Adhis! I love ya! You are awesome. You must have gone there on a bad night. I have been there twice and haven't had a bad experience. Sorry you did.

James and Heather English said...

All I can say it that their ribs are amazing! Falling off the bone tender, you can't go wrong with that. That is all I have gotten there, so i can't comment on any of the other main dishes. Sorry you had a bad experience.

Jér said...

The restaurant sounds wretched, but writing about it got you your first wrathful, bigoted post! Such a milestone for any blogger.

Lowdogg said...

Hey AdHis. I wanted to check out the nasty comment. Pretty amusing.
I agree with James and Heather English. The ribs are very good. Everything else is just okay (except for the chicken fingers [not bad] and the rolls [addictive]). Other than the ribs though it is not worth a specific trip.
There are better roadhouses.

WiseNLucky said...

I'm sorry for your bad experience. I'm one of those who loooves Texas Roadhouse, but I have only experienced it in, well, Texas. I like char-broiled steaks, and my wife loves the ribs. I get to pick out my actual steak before it is cooked. We both enjoy the fresh yeast rolls, but I honestly don't remember much about the salads either way. The peanuts are too overroasted and salty for me, but throwing them on the floor is kinda fun! I won't tell you to try again, though. Sounds like this restaurant has too many bad things going on.