David is afraid of refrigerated biscuit tubes, the kind that pop open when you peel the label off. Lately, I’ve been making a dessert that calls for TWO of these pipe bombs. The other day, I was doubling the recipe, so I had an arsenal of FOUR tubes of refrigerated rolls. I feigned busyness and asked David to please open the tubes. Wanting to be helpful, he came into the kitchen. He grabbed a tube and began slowly peeling the label off, meanwhile his eyes flinched and his face scrunched up in anticipation of the explosion. I couldn’t help it, I lost my poker face. Dave looked up and saw my amused expression.“Hey! You just asked me to open this 'cause you know I’m scared of it! You are so mean!"A chase around the kitchen ensued, and I got a spanking. That'll learn me.
Now, even though he figured out I was just using him for my entertainment, David was sweet enough to open the second tube for me anyway. He, again with the flinching eyes and scrunched up face, began to slowly and carefully peel the label off the cold tube. The silence in the kitchen was thick. He had gotten a couple inches of paper up when I couldn't help but grab his arm and yell "POP!"
"That's it!" he yelled, dropping the tube on the counter and off I was again, running from him.
I've made that dessert a couple times since that incident. I still ask David to open the tubes, and he still does it, even if it’s just to amuse me. I always hear the song "Buttermilk Biscuits" in my head... just for a few seconds... then I yell "POP!" again.
Here’s the recipe (I got it from Jenn, I don’t know where she got it.)
Fruit Danish Dessert
2 cans (8oz each) refrigerated crescent dinner rolls, divided
2 tubes (8oz each) Light (or not) Cream cheese spread
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar, divided in half
1 egg white
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 can (21oz) fruit pie filling (I prefer strawberry, then blueberry, but you can use cherry, whatever you please.)
1 to 2 Tbsp fat free (or not) milk
PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Unroll 1 of the cans of crescent dough. Place in greased 13x9-inch baking pan; press onto bottom of pan to form crust, firmly pressing seams together to seal.
BEAT cream cheese spread, 3/4 cup of sugar, the egg white and vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Spread onto crust; cover with pie filling. Unroll remaining can of crescent dough onto large sheet of wax paper or silicone mat. Pat out dough to form 13x9-inch rectangle, pressing seams together to seal. Invert over pie filling to form top crust; remove wax paper (or silicone mat).
BAKE 30 to 35 min. or until golden brown. Cool at least 20 min. Gradually, add milk to remaining 3/4 cup sugar, beating until well blended and thick. Drizzle over warm dessert. Cut into 24 rectangles to serve. Store leftover dessert in refrigerator.
[Posted song: "Buttermilk Biscuits" by Sir-Mix-A-Lot]