I think I'm done. Surely I must be nearly finished. How much longer am I expected to expect?
(Me, two weeks ago,
at 22 weeks pregnant
and a long ways to go.)
I had just gotten dressed for the day. I was brushing my teeth and had a mouthful of toothpaste foam when some saliva slid into my throat. I tried coughing it up without spitting out the foam. (Cough, cough.) That was apparently the secret signal for my bladder to release urine. Yes, I peed myself. I think that's when I realized I am in for a few more surprise symptoms before this pregnancy is through. This pregnancy is going to go on and on and on before it's finished.
I've had a pretty good pregnancy, so I can't complain. But I will (for just a little longer, I promise). No matter what anyone has ever told you about pregnancy, they haven't told you everything. And you will never hear all of it. I'm amazed at all the cute pregnant women wobbling around looking chipper. They never told me about the insomnia, the breathlessness, the constipation, the bloating, the heartburn, the excess saliva, the backaches, the midnight hunger, the nosebleeds, the bleeding gums, the wobbly hips, the leg cramps, the fluctuating libido, the overheating, the pillow hoarding, and oh-there's-so-much-more.
I currently sleep with one pillow wedge and 5 pillows. I lay my back on the pillow wedge with a small pillow under my neck. I have two pillows propping up my legs and a pillow on either side of me (1) to keep me from rolling sideways and (2) to use as armrests. My husband calls it my throne. He can approach only if I have beckoned him. Afterall, he wouldn't want to startle me and have me pee the royal knickers.