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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Sister Cashier

Dear Sister Cashier,
I have just put my intended purchases onto your conveyor belt in groups: the produce with the produce, the breads and starches for the pantry, the frozen pizza with the ice cream, the canned foods in stacks together, and the household non-foods at the end. I did it because I won't have time to put everything away right when I get home as the baby is hungry and her diaper needs changing. This way, I can quickly put the frozen and refrigerated foods away before tending to The Little Highness.

Please, feel free to disregard the work I've done. Spread all the cans into 6 different bags. In one of those bags, include a loaf of bread and a bag of celery. In the others, mix a variety from different categories so I must search for the frozen peas underneath the Kleenex. Drop the grapes in with the canned yams. Put the paper plates over them, so I don't think to look there when putting food away. Continue with your conveyor belt potpourri. Spin the grocery bag carousel like it's the Wheel of Fortune. Round and round and round it goes, where the cheese will end up, nobody knows.

Yes, of course, why wouldn't I want the chicken with the apples. The tortillas with the frozen foods? Perfect. I like my tortillas a little soggy. And when I lug the toiletries up to my bathroom, I don't mind finding the rice between the tampons and the feminine napkins. I was going down to the kitchen again anyway.

It's alright. I know you're just trying to cheer me up with a game of grocery shop hide n' seek. I enjoy your playfulness.

Now, where'd you put the eggs?

Thank you, Sister Cashier.
Love,
Adhis

19 comments:

joezeon said...

Well written. love the play of words. love the rhyme. keep the imagination rolling.

Amber said...

Let me guess, you went to Wal-Mart. Their cashiers have no concept whatsoever. I had the same issue just about 2 hours ago. Raw sausage in the same bag as my baby food? Yes please. I'll tell you who does know how to bag: Maceys. They have had the national grocery bagging champ 2 years running. No, I'm not kidding. It's a real contest and it's true.

Jennica said...

I am so with you!

Lyns said...

SOOOO frustrating. I also organize my food on the conveyor belt. Sometimes it works great. Other times, not so great like you mentioned.

Christi said...

You just need to check your ADD at the door and be grateful for the service. In Philly, you are your own bagger even at the Albertson's affiliate. I guess you could just elbow them out of the way and take care of it yourself.

Sara Lynes said...

I thought I was the only woman anal enough about my groceries to organize them like that. It really makes my life easier, I know what I absolutely have to carry in and then there isn't a block of cheese left in the car that you thought was in the bag with the cold stuff.

TheOrttFamily said...

I just have to laugh....I always love coming here to see what you come up with next to say......hahaha..Thanks that will have me laughing all day...

(Gra)Ma Adhis said...

I like the way you wrote it so well.
Perhaps you can print a copy and place it in the suggestion box of the said store(s).
Just because is so nicely put it might get some positive reaction.

Kristen said...

I just found my tomato mashed between bags of spaghetti. But that didn't phase me.

What I'm wondering is why, in the pouring rain, I rushed my three kids into the car first, while allowing the groceries to get soaked. Isn't that what we went for!?!?!?

(Do you think I could put boxes of Cream of Wheat in the clothes dryer? So much for the shelf life. How about wet toilet paper?)

I think I'll stay home for the next few months.

chelon:) said...

That is my hugest pet peeve!! aaaaahhhhhhh!

Heidi said...

One of my new years resolutions was going to be to start using fabric bags. I took them to wal-mart the other day and couldn't find the time (between watching prices, giving coupons, watching 3 kids fall out of the cart and trying to watch where she was putting things) or the courage to ask her to use them. Scratch that one off my list already!

Kat said...

My sister use to be a bagger at Macey's, and they had trainings on how to bag. Putting things together. So, now when I go, I make sure that they put my groceries in the same way. I know that they are probably thinking "Man, is she a picky lady, or what?!" But I don't care. My hard earned money will not be put to waste. :)

Amannda Ashby said...

I love it simply because we all know exactly what you are talking about! That was Great!

sharibug said...

It is my greatest pet peeve. I want things put in order and I hate it when they squish my bread, smash my fruit, and put food products in with my clenaing products. What ever training they have does no good, as they just do what ever takes the least amount of time.

King family said...

Hey do I understand. I am a cashier and I see what your talking about all the time. I'm not generally a male basher, however, they think differently than females. For the most part, they seem to think heavy on the bottom and some light on top , NO MATTER WHAT IT IS... Yes, like Ok here we go, 4 lg. cans of fruit, on top of that is your fresh green grapes and your delicate tomatoes from produce. My porous box of cereal might get with a box of very fragrant dryer sheets. I've noticed if the gals bag, more often than not, it will be more like we want .

Erin said...

Was it at the grocery store that has trivial pursuit for $40 or $20?

Adhis said...

Y'all: This is a video Erin sent me about a grocery store bagger:
Johnny the Bagger

Utah_Dave said...

Erin,

The Smith's Marketplace had Trivial Pursuit for $40 and Walmart had it for $20.

Adhis said...

Honey, I think she was making a joke.

And this would be at the store that had Trivial Pursuit for $20.