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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Wrapped in Saran Wrap

Just feeling blue.

Sometimes it feels like I'm going through life wrapped in Saran Wrap. I'm living, experiencing, partaking, even enjoying at times, but only to a degree. I can *almost* feel things except for the thin barrier keeping me from doing so. Dumb static cling wrap.

You know the feeling?

The frustration and suffocation come after extended times of being denied full interaction. I'm tired of this disassociation. I crave full engagement, to feel, to be in the moment. Each moment comes only once and I'm sick of missing them.

I think that's why I take so many photos. I need proof that I was there, that it happened.

But eventually photos appear to me as illustrations in a fictional story.


And even this scream seems already like a faint memory.

"Buried way beneath the sheets I think she's having a meltdown
Finding it hard to fall asleep she won't let anyone help her
The look on her face a waste of time she won't let go, gonna roll the dice
Loosing her grace, starts to cry. I feel her pain when I look in her eyes."

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