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Saturday, January 6, 2007

I laughed! I guffawed! For only $75!

I bought tickets for last night's Brian Regan's "You Too" show 3 months ago because I heard it was selling out. Man, they weren't kidding! There was not an empty seat in the house.

"Happy Arbor Day. Enjoy the bubbly."

If you don't know already, Brian Regan is an ambassador in the United Nations of Hilarity. He clunkily traipses the line between funny and insane without sloshing through annoying.

I have watched or listened to about everything he has put out, so I wondered last night if I'd be disappointed about watching a "live re-run." I was pleased to find that for as much Brian Regan as I have taken in, there were only two segments I recognized; The rest of his material was newer.

"They're just dumb ol' donkeys!"

I couldn't believe I forgot my camera! I know a few people for whom that qualifies as a cardinal sin. Always have your camera with you! (Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!) Upon my realization, I gave up all plans to track Brian Regan down after the show. (Oh, yes, I would have.)

What's Brian Regan like on stage? Same as on video.
He does that intense open leg stance and that weird lanky stroll when he's coming out of a joke, like he's shaking something off.

"'Brian, how do you make a word a plural?' Um, you say to it 'YOU BETTER BE PLURAL!!'"

One of my favorite experiences at the show was when he came out for an encore and did 'classic' bits (Peanut Butter & Jelly; Stupid in School; Pop-Tarts) and the audience said the punchlines at the same time as he did. ("Can life get better? I submit that it cannot!")

It was fun watching him realize that the audience had seen and memorized his crap ("crap" used affectionately here): "I'm flattered that you know this already. Really." ... and then amusing to watch him try to set the jokes up anyway as he reached for his water bottle: "There really is no way for me to go into this smoothly. I will just take a long strategy-thinking drink here."

"So, I was in the doctor's office. No- I wasn't in his office. I was in the examimanation room... the examinamation room... I just screwed that set-up."

I have always known I hate sitting next to 2 types of people at comedy shows.

Type 1:
has to explain the jokes to their companion even if the companion did not ask for an explanation.

Type 2: giggles at everything a comedian says even if it's not meant to be funny. ["It's hot in here." (Teeheeheehee) "Can we check on the temperature?" (Hee hee hee , snort); "I was standing in line today..." (BWAHAHAHA!)]

I discovered last night that I am also annoyed by a 3rd Type.
Type 3: thinks HE'S the comedian. This guy would echo any new "material" or sound Brian made. Brian (yes, we're on a first name basis) clicked his tongue, Type 3 clicked his tongue. Brian grunted, Type 3 grunted. He was programming new soundwaves and vocabulary into his persona! I can quote Muhammad Ali but it doesn't make me a boxer.

I sat in the row in front of Type 1 and Type 3, and two seats to the left of Type 2. Ocassionally, I had the urge to get up and move to a different part of the party.

It's difficult being surrounded by morons.

"My doctor said something really eye-opening to me... He said... 'Why are your eyes closed?'"

In a I'm-not-alone-moment, I was ever so surprised to find that Brian has also put two contacts in one eye. Me and Brian! Eye contact morons! W00t!

Surely, THAT makes me as funny (tongue click) as Brian Regan.

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